The Ultimate Love Story

In the olden days, like not your grandparents, before that, quite a bit before that: the time of Abraham, you know several thousand years ago….marriage was much different than it is now.

Marriages were arranged by the fathers, the father of the groom and the father of the bride. This may seem harsh or unfair to us in NorthAmerica where Hallmark movies and love stories abound. But growing up in a culture where this was the normal, you knew nothing else. It was what happened for family survival and still happens today in many cultures.

The marriage ceremony was more than a one time event. The father of the groom, and yes this includes mom in the decision in some cases, but usually the father. He sets about to find a wife for his son. Marriage is/was a blending of the families, business and beliefs, the outcome had far reaching implications for both families.

The father of the groom and sometimes the groom himself, but it could be an agent, someone who was trusted and chosen to speak for dad, went to the potential girls father to see if a deal, a suitable bride price could be arranged. The father of the bride heard the offer given for his daughter and considered how this union could be beneficial to his family. Marriage was not about 2 people but about 2 families. The bride price could be money, business partnerships, labour, services, cattle, camels, water rights, jewels, spices, even clothing. The name for the gifts given to the brides father from the grooms father is mohar.

The mohar was given as a replacement for the labour and wages the brides family would be giving up if she left the family. Survival of a family was the whole family’s business.

Once the deal was made, and the girl would be asked, but ultimately her father made the decision, she knew her duty was to help support her family with a suitable union. The bride would be given valuable gifts from the groom called mattan.

The groom and bride would share a cup of wine together and documents signed by the families. This was betrothal, we call it engagement.

The father, groom or agent would go back to the groom’s father with the news.

If favourable the groom would start to prepare a place for his bride to come and live, either by adding on to his parents home or by building a new home for his bride.

The bride would start to prepare herself and her things for keeping her own home. But she lived in her parents home until they were officially married in a ceremony. This time apart varied in length but often it was about a year.

When the groom had completed the home only his father (not the groom), could declare the time had come to go and collect the bride. Often it would be at nighttime. The groom made the journey along with his friends and relatives back to the girls home. The groom always goes to the bride.

The bride had no idea when her groom would come to get her, often keeping a candle going throughout the evenings in case he came then. She had to get and be ready to go at any time.

The groom would come and collect the bride and take her back to his parents home or the home he had prepared. Her friends and family would often make the trip with her, in the case of great distances it is possible she would go to her grooms home alone. The bride adorned herself in the finery of a bride helped by her friends or those appointed to her.

A ceremony would now happen with a Priest or Rabbi under a Huppah, a 4 pillared canopy representing a “home”, as they pledged their commitment to each other in front of their family and friends.

After the couple would go to the newly prepared home to consumate their marriage for an evening while the party continued on with feasting and dancing for a few days and up to a week. The bride and groom would come back to the party the next day to take part in the festivities. This explains why Jesus first miracle was turning water into wine at a wedding. The party continued but they had run out of wine. Jesus’ mother’s heart was concerned that this family, who certainly must have been someone close to her, would loose face and be embarrassed by the lack of wine for the party. She asked Jesus to help. Jesus did.

Let’s look at this whole marriage process in a broader context.

The Father looks around for a bride for His son.

He finds a suitable one and either goes himself, sends his son or an agent to make the a proposal. Gifts of great value were lavished on the bride and her family. Documents are signed and a cup of wine is shared. The groom or agent returns home to prepare a place for his bride.

At this point the couple is considered betrothed but deeper, they are in the eyes of the law, married, and an official divorce would be necessary should the wedding not happen. She is his.

When the groom has completed his task of building a home, dad decides when the groom and his friends, family may go to collect his bride. So a procession goes with the groom to fetch his bride, after which he and the congregation of all their friends (hers and his) and family travel back to the grooms place. A wedding ceremony and feasting and dancing follow for several days, up to a week. It is a time of complete joy.

Reading it here it is such a romantic process. The bride has a “groom” matched up with her. Her heart must flutter with “what is he like?” She starts her beautifying treatments, chooses her clothes and probably makes more, she makes her own wedding dress, she carefully treasures the jewelry she will wear as a bride. She starts collecting linens and dishes to use in her new home. She’s excited but aptly scared of this unknown future.

Suddenly the people in her village are antsy, yelling to each other, there are camels on the horizon. Could it be her groom? Ah…not this time. She continues to faithfully wait, every day, several times a day she scans the horizon, and keeps her lamp burning in the evening. Would it be today?

Father God looked around for a bride for His Son Jesus from the people of the earth, the very place they had created together.

He found a bride mingling in His creation, walking the roads and forests of the earth. So beautiful. He chose you. He chose me. He chose every single one of His creations to be that bride for His Son. God delights in His creation.

Jesus, the Son came to visit at the brides home. We missed it because He came in wee baby form and grew into the role. Teaching, mentoring on His way. He choose us. We were watching for a different kind of groom.

Jesus proposed the Bride price, His life. He was going to lay down His life for His bride. In that way and that way only would He be able to save her.

Many people, did not agree to the bride price and they decided He was not good enough. He was not what they wanted. They brutally attacked and murdered Him.

But again the groom came back, a resurrected groom stood on this earth proclaiming His right over His bride and creation, He did this over a period of 40 days to hundreds of witnesses.

And then…. Jesus the groom said, “I go to prepare a place for you… I will come back to take you with Me. I will not leave you as orphans but I will send you The Holy Spirit. His role is to comfort, heal, give wisdom and guidance to give you my gifts while I am gone. He has many gifts to lavish on you. I will come back to get you.”

Then Jesus, the Groom, left to go back to Heaven to prepare a place for His bride. In the same tradition of the grooms of thousands of years before Him, He will come back to collect His promised bride. You and me and all peoples of the earth if they choose to be His bride - His offer is extended to all.

Sometimes people ask me how I “know” Jesus was real or is coming back, or has He come back and we missed it?

Oh my heavens… I am a bride (yes men and women are Jesus bride), and just like many brides I know, according to Jewish tradition of over probably about 4,000 years, the groom comes to collect His bride, nothing will stop Him. He already paid the Bride price, and She is His.

There will be great celebration, great noise and yelling - it will not be missed. But I know, that I know, that I know, that my groom promised to come back and get me. His track record has been spot on so far, His words only ever had truth and I fully trust Him and I keep a daily watch on the horizon and my lamp burning.

My groom is coming for me and for the rest of His bride. That my friends is one of the greatest love stories ever written. It is His Story and in telling it in this form: the history of the marriage ceremony- please notice it is spelled: His Story.

He told it to settle our hearts to give us peace and to assure us - Jesus is coming back for His bride!

Keep watching the horizon, keep your lamp burning, never loose hope.