What Is Your Message!

Life has its own way of bringing ups and downs, the feeling of being tossed on waves that you did not create or want, nor even saw coming.

I have had some time for some introspection lately, I had a couple biopsies last week and the healing has gone a little sideways. Truly the couch or bed and I are best friends. I sit and look out the window, I have read, listened to books on tape and done some deep thinking.

When these times happen I think I am like most of us and wonder, is this a teaching moment, a learning moment, a what did I do wrong moment? But the underlying question really is: How the heck do I get this to stop and do I need to do something to stop it? In other words did I cause it?

It takes me to the Book of Job pretty quickly. Job is determined he did nothing to deserve his horrifying losses in life. His 3 friends do not agree and firmly over many days tell him so and they insist him to start confessing his wrongs. Those are not great friends and I could do without those kind, I mean I already have all my own questions, why would I need theirs?

Auto immune conditions suck! They are horrendous to live with and I have this fascination of why does my body attack itself? I have had the same question for years, ever since my thyroid went officially funky.

Here’s the thing- we are not always to blame for things going off. Sometimes it can be us, other times it can be environmental, physical or plain life.

If I fall down and break a bone, it was a physical injury. I could beat myself up with the “why didn’t I” questions? Or the only “if only” ones.., but why punish myself… more. The leg is already broken (I do not have one, it is simply an analogy).

I heard a couple of lines today that stopped me in my tracks so to speak.

One dear lady in a podcast I listened to was asking for prayer for an autoimmune condition that was wracking her body. The leader in the group simply said to her: “autoimmune conditions are often rooted in self-loathing.”

I stopped breathing for a moment. I know that my body’s autoimmune system is still on hyperdrive from the immune therapy treatment I had last year. But could there be more to it…. Self-loathing sounds harsh, it sounds monster-like to hate yourself.

But I remembered all the times through the years where I asked people, “can you honestly look in the mirror and like what you see?” I only ever had 2-3 who ever could answer affirmative, and I could not. More than you would think said they never look in a mirror, they can’t.

I sat, tears rolling down my cheeks and listened intently to what this lady had God tell her.

God told her that “anything you believe or say about yourself that does not agree with what God says about you is a form of self-loathing.”

Oh my, that is a tough one to hear.

Do I really 100% believe the things God says:

I am my Beloved’s (Jesus) and He is mine?

Song is Solomon

I am created in Gods own image. God chose not to build a statue of Himself like all the man made gods do…Instead God chose to make man in His own image, you and me. Genesis 1:27

I am Gods friend. John 15:15

I am the apple of Gods eye.

Zechariah 2:8 and Psalm 17:8. It refers to the pupil, the most sensitive and guarded part of the eye, symbolizing God's intense care, love, and constant attention. Do I believe this?

It has caused me to evaluate myself, the woman in the mirror, my own words, my description of me about me. The fact that I was created to be exactly what I see in the mirror, flaws and all.

I struggle with my image, not going to lie. Especially with the Vitilago (pigment eating disorder of skin color and hair color). But if I was being “real” I struggled before that, thin hair, eyes too saggy, wrinkles, teeth too yellow.

The person staring back at us has flaws; too freckled, too white, too dark, too wrinkled, too fat, too thin, too much hair, too thin hair, straight hair, curly hair, no hair, too what??? You have a list…

I only know one lady that ever admitted that she used to hate herself. Wow is that brave! I admire her for her brave honesty, because I know that almost all of us have some things we would change, but would we voice them?

Dare ya! Look in the mirror and say: hey good looking! And mean it.

We can not look at ourselves and be satisfied, and yet God says we are made in His image. We are already arguing with God about what He says about us.

The podcast went on to say that God told her Jeremiah 1:4-5

“The word of the Lord came to me, saying,

“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you,

before you were born I set you apart”

Did you get it? Before you were invented, created, had even one single cell to your name - God knew you. He knew you would be a man or a woman, He knew how much hair, what kind of hair, what kind of voice, the look of your toes, the sparkle in your eyes. He knew, He designed, He created.. you. Because He wanted a son or daughter exactly like you.

Before you were born, before you were a brother, a sister, a friend, a mom, an anything you were called into being to be a “son or a daughter “ of God Himself. Your first role in the world, in the universe is to be God’s child, anything else is extra.

How beautiful is that…how that changes a lot, I can either accept what God has said or continue to argue with Him and believe in self-loathing lies.

There was another podcast today where I heard the speakers explain that each individual person has a message to share with the world. They went on to ask each other, 3 of them, what each thought their own message was. Then they said they would tell the person what they saw as the message they brought.

Brilliant! Absolutely brilliant! We each before creation have a message to share with mankind on behalf of God. Whether we know it or not, when we show up, we bring a certain message and others perceive it. You were given a voice to use to portray your message so what message do you bring?

I sat here pondering and asking God, what message do I bring? At first I wondered if I had a message, but of course you know I do, especially if you have read my blog for very long.

I am a scribe, a teacher, a describer of God in word form to offer His light into our dark world.

What is your message? Is is to bring hope, faith, belief, joy, strength, courage, order, hospitality, prayer, love, or are you offering lies, misbeliefs about yourself and others, gossip, judgment. Perhaps we go down the “victim, self-sacrifice, bitter, hate filled path because we see life as unfair.

What is it that you bring and share on behalf of God with the world and does it align with what He said He created you to be?

If you really do not know, ask your friends and most of all ask Him, your Father who see you, knows you and treasures you as His own son or daughter. Loved beyond measure.