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  • Writer's pictureJane Wheeler

The Million Dollar Question

Do you dream? I mean think, long, want, a desire that seems no where to be found at this time in your life. Call it a wish, a want, a longing. Do you write down things on paper, in a journal or whisper to a friend of things you hope will happen? We all have them these things that I shall call, dreams.

We have them for ourselves, we have them for our spouses, for our kids, our grandkids, for our careers or our hobbies. Things we want to see happen in our health, relationships, bank account, house, vehicles, churches, jobs, vacations. We might never speak them out loud but that does not lessen the time they spend rolling around in our minds.

I think that at times our dreams get squished or shelved because others do not share them. Spouses have different dreams that they aim for, perhaps they are more dominant, so their dreams get chosen and yours do not, leaving you to feel that your longings do not matter. As a parent you find early that young children only care about their wishes and wants and you quickly forget about yours. As a child, with the addition of siblings, your world narrowed, leaving you with less and less dreams. Employers rarely take the time to find out their employees dreams and goals and you get forgotten along the way. Or perhaps you think, ‘why dream, it will never happen anyways” and you cease to long at all. All of these can lead you to think that you have no needs or wants or dreams but trust me you do.

I have watched people squelch their dreams to the point of thinking that they do not have any. Your dreams are something God gave you. Not sure about that? Why in the Bible does God talk about life after death or give us eloquent narratives about heaven? So we can dream.

If I asked each of you what heaven is like there would probably not be any two answers

alike because we all dream differently.

Dreams lead to hope and hope leads to longing and longing leads us to motivation and action. Dreams can push us forward, push us to our knees in prayer, dreams are proof of life.

To not dream is to be stagnant, after all, why move around if there is nothing to aim for?

My husband frequently reminds me that “only a dreamer can have a dream come true,” of course this is often in the tool section of the hardware store!

I have struggled with a question for a long time, probably a year and a half that I cannot answer. It is one of those questions that sets my mind to start a ride on a merry go round that never stops. It seems to have no beginning and no end, and I struggle with this question so hard and I desperately want to have an answer.

The reason I want to have an answer is because it is a question from God, and should I not be able to answer Him?

The question can be found in the Bible verses of Mark 10:46-52 – and again it happened in the city of Jericho! So much happened there!

“Then they came to Jericho. As Jesus and his disciples, together with a large crowd, were leaving the city, a blind man, Bartimaeus (which means “son of Timaeus”), was sitting by the roadside begging. When he heard that it was Jesus of Nazareth, he began to shout, “Jesus, Son of David, have mercy on me!”

Many rebuked him and told him to be quiet, but he shouted all the more, “Son of David, have mercy on me!”

Jesus stopped and said, “Call him.”

So they called to the blind man, “Cheer up! On your feet! He’s calling you.” Throwing his cloak aside, he jumped to his feet and came to Jesus.

“What do you want me to do for you?” Jesus asked him.

The blind man said, “Rabbi, I want to see.”

I wonder, if Jesus came to you today and asked you, “What do you want me to do for you?” What would you say? Would you have an answer?

The blind man knew instantly. He wanted to live. Being a blind man, he had to depend on others around him to have pity, concern or sympathy for his plight. He was a beggar – he lived on handouts, on the scrap’s others doled out. This man knew if he could see, if his eyes were opened, he could start to live. He dreamed and then he made it happen when he heard that Jesus was passing by, and nothing and no one was going to stop him from yelling out to be noticed to get Jesus attention. This man wanted to LIVE!

If Jesus came to me and asked me this question today my merry go round goes something like this:

If I ask for something for myself is it selfish? I am not blind or lame, but I have some health issues. Would that be what I ask for?

But what if I asked for the gift of healing, then I would be able to have God’s power to heal myself and others – would that be less selfish?

Could I ask for the spirit of Elijah to adorn my life? He earnestly prayed and it stopped raining for 3.5 years. He raised the dead and did so many other miracles, wow that would be cool.

Should I ask for money? To win the lottery? Maybe a million dollars? (this becomes the million dollar question)

What if I asked for something for my kids instead? What do each of them need? If only one thing, which child would get the request?

What about my husband? Should I ask for something for him? Do I ask for something that makes his life easier or mine cause I have to live with him?

And round and round I go. I do not know what I would ask for and I do not know how to decide.

I often feel like I am existing, not truly “Living”. Oh yes, it’s hard with social distancing, staying home and masks but I mean what would it take to send fire through my veins, ignite my mind and get me up in the morning? Dreams.

What do I need to “live”, I mean truly “live” not exist, not get by?

I envy the blind man, he knew what he needed and as I continue to wrestle with this question, I want to ask you: Do you know what you truly need?

What would you like Jesus to do for you today?

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