A Tractor, A Chapel Update & Me

I kind of got me a Deere! A John Deere tractor complete with bucket, hoe, snow blower and mower deck. You know that song… “she thinks my tractors sexy..,” well I probably won’t describe it like that but I would say: useful, cool, fun and awesome. 😊

People ask me “what are you going to do with that thing?” Or “what is that contraption?”

The answer is “I can do whatever I want.” I can move things, dig things, make ditches, plant a bunch of trees and move some other trees, throw snow, mow the lawn, and basically I can ride around on it looking super cool and doing farm stuff.

Do you know what is so hilarious because when I went to see it originally, the fellow asked me if I wanted to try it out. I had to admit that I did not know how. When my dear friends from HH Farmstore in Goodfare (amazing people by the way and they have a super cool farm store please check them out), brought it out for me because they are kind, I had to confess that I had no idea how to drive it to him as well. He laughed and said it was easy. He gave me the lowdown on what each lever did and what each pedal did and I said: okay, now you have to walk away while I try it or you might hear strange noises. He laughed and said I will leave you on your own and off he went leaving me there to get it figured. It took me a few minutes but I got that tractor moving and headed around the yard no gears ground! Whoo hoo!

A Chapel update… drum roll please….the chapel is in the final crunch. We are at the painting walls inside stage, putting the metal siding on the outside stage, and coming soon is the laying the flooring stage (helpers needed). I have to say I was not sure if or when we would get to this stage. It has been a 4 year long project that has weighed on us heavily. But it is coming together so beautifully. Sometimes I stand there and cry because Brian is not here to share it with me, sometimes I cry cause it is so beautiful. The other times I cry are just cause I am so exhausted and I just need a bath and bed!

I have found I really have to watch myself and not over do it, because my body responds badly.

And the me update: I have been finding the “left overs”. These would be some of the things “left over” from my one immune therapy treatment. It seems that each day or week a new “thing” comes along. I have realized that when a new item comes along- it is probably not long term, well some can be, but most are for one week, a month, possibly longer. How long will these surprises continue? No one can say, but the estimate is a fairly long time.

This past couple months have involved my hormones. That seems to have subsided now and the hot flashes have stopped, we have moved on to what is called vitiligo on parts of my skin. It is an auto immune disorder where your body attacks the “melanin “ in your skin (part that has pigment or tans). Your skin goes white, it looses its color, for example Michael Jackson had it. Mine seems to be concentrated on my face, arms and chest and I am not really liking the look of it. If you notice on my hand, it is devoid of color, tanning of course makes it stand out in the crowd. I now have one eyebrow totally white the other is totally normal. Today I woke up and noticed a new patch or strip of “lighter” colored hair, which was concerning. Oh, did I mention it can take color out of hair as well. It really is a surprise every morning to what greets you in the mirror as things can change over night. I am rather touchy and cranky about this one.

To me it’s ugly and a grim reminder everytime I look at my arms, which because they wave around in front of me, that there is still something happening inside. I do not think it helps at all when I tell someone what it is and they say…” oh I’ve seen that before, older people can get that…,” I mean, okay I’m older but when you lump me in the geriatric crowd I am not so thrilled, now it makes me feel super old! The only thing that could come out as “good” might be if my hair does something funky that turns into a “style trend”.

The joys of life, it can’t always be blue sky and sunshine, sometimes I guess it can be old and blotchy so when I just need something to perk me up, I hop onto the tractor and away we go!