• Jane Wheeler

Quirky Sense of Humour


Its Psalms like 139 that undo me. I mean when I read:

“O Lord, you have searched me and known me!

You know when I sit down and when I rise up;

You discern my thoughts from afar.

You search out my path and my lying down

And are acquainted with all my ways.

Even before a word is on my tongue,

Behold O Lord, you know it altogether.

You hem me in, behind and before,

And lay your hand upon me.

Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;

It is high; I cannot attain it:…..

It can be a little daunting to be known by God quite so much!

When I realize how much God knows about me, every eye roll, every inside voice thought, well, it is simply unnerving.

I mean, God actually hears my inside voice say things like: “Oh pull up your big girl panties and get over it!” when I hear somebody whine.

Or “stick that up your nostril fella!” when someone says or does something I do not like.

It is so difficult to remain polite 100% of the time, truly it is.

I do not think I am alone in this uncomfortableness, but possibly I am and I simply could be clueless that others do not think this way.

When I am struggling with that inner “snarkiness” I choose to go to my “quotes” section on Pinterest and hide there for a while. I can giggle, imagine and pretend to throw out quotes like I am brilliantly witty after which I usually send a couple of really funny ones to friends and then go to bed.

So tonight I hid in the quote section for a while and figured I would share some of these “great ones” with you – not because I think these things about you, rather I thought you might like some ideas for your own “quote board” when you meet some of “those” people. Remember I did not make these up and make no claim that they are from me, just sometimes thought by me…

  • You are the reason this country has to put directions on shampoo.

  • Things I have in common with a raccoon. Dark circles around my eyes, eats junk, cute, a little chubby, I will fight you and possibly rabid.

  • Have ye ever listened to some folks for a minute and thought…. Their cornbread ain’t quite done in the middle.

  • I do not understand your kind of crazy but I totally admire your commitment to it.

  • If stupid could fly you’d be a jet

  • When people hurt you over and over, think of them as sandpaper. They scratch and hurt you. But later you’ll be shining and polished, while they will be useless.

And then there is another section that I truly love – the section of ideas that I would love to do just because. I would LOVE to do some of the following because these are not sins or wrong, they are truly, completely absolutely just FUN! Again not my ideas, I copied most from pinterest.

  • At my funeral, have a closed casket and at the end have the music start playing “pop goes the weasel” and wait for peoples reactions

  • At my funeral, have someone take one of the bouquets and turn their back to the crowd and throw the “bouquet” to see who will be next

  • Step on a corn flake and tell people you are a cereal killer

  • I want to take my blow dryer to the end of the driveway and point it at cars as they drive by to see if they slow down

  • When my dentist tells me I need a crown – I simply agree and say “I know – right?”

  • Sit down beside a stranger in the park and whisper “did you bring the money?”

Okay so now you know my quirky sense of humor but honestly, did at least one of them not put a smile on your face? Then it was worth it.

Enjoy Your Wednesday!


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