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  • Jane Wheeler

A Family in Grief....

We are grief-stricken in my family this week.

What should have been a joyous occasion suddenly turned somber, horrendous and painful beyond our thinking.

I am going to be a grandma and we have been so excited, celebrating the expectation of a new little family member. According to pregnancy protocol the 1st ultrasound is at 3 months and then you see the baby doctor. Last week was that marker and we all anticipated being sent a text picture of the ultrasound picture announcing this new little life.

They could not find a heartbeat. The new little life that had started out blooming, was not going to grow anymore.

Much to my amazement and that of others was the procedure that followed. This young couple, going to the appointment with joy and expectation, was then told the announcement of no heartbeat and to proceed directly to emergency. No other explanations, so no time to grieve this news or even try to comprehend what was happening – they sat for 4 hours in emerge waiting to see a doctor. No privacy to cry, to try to understand what was happening, surrounded on all sides by others who were hurting with their own injuries, but no safe place to absorb this news.

The emergency doctor was very gracious and kind, he wanted them to see a baby doctor and that would be another 2 and ½ hours before that happened. They waited, not sure of what else to do, the total of 6 and ½ hours, numbed off to the pain of the obvious.

The baby doctor was awesome, answering and reassuring this couples questions and providing facts. This type of miscarriage is very common according to her, according to doctor records it happens in 1 out of 6 pregnancies. But she cautioned that doctors believe it happens a lot more because it happens at home with no doctor involved and that it could be as high as 1 in 3 pregnancies. There is nothing anyone could have done differently to prevent it – it happens.

We all have been grieving in our own way; we are not ready to talk about it just yet so thank you for understanding this.

God reminded me that He formed me, you, all of us, in our mother’s womb – a person right from the time of conception.

This baby is not forgotten, God knows. I can sit and blame God for the “why’s” or I can place my trust in Him that this little person will be in heaven when I get there – because nothing and no one escapes His attention. I am a grandma and I will meet my grand baby when I get there of this I have no doubt.

Psalm 139: 13 “For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb.”

Jeremiah 1:5 "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart…"

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