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  • Writer's pictureJane Wheeler

A Cone In A Cup

Words have a way of sneaking up on you.

What I mean by that is we can state one thing but end up getting something totally different than what we thought we had asked for. (see exhibit A above).

I asked at the drive in window for an ice cream cone, but not in the cone, in a cup.

What I got was a cone in a cup.

Do most moms think the same? I am not sure but when I talked with the young man, adult, before me, whose mother was on the other side of the world, I wondered.

They could see the eclipse that happened last weekend from the other side of the world. Because the conditions were right, they could view the eclipse clearly and warnings had gone out in their country to protect your eyes and do not look directly at the sun. She was worried about her "boy" over here.

He confided that his mom had called him at work that day to remind him not to look directly at the sun and to be sure to protect his eyes if he was going to watch the eclipse.

He seemed a little embarrassed about his overprotective mom.

“She must love you a great deal,” I replied.

He grinned sheepishly and smiled, “yes she does.”

It reminded me of Raj on the Big Bang Theory tv show when his parents called from India with all their advice for their son.

We do that as parents don’t, we? We hand out all the advice we can, hoping that our kids take it all in and heaven forbid – that they do not experiment and try life out on their own like we did. We want them not to fail or make the same mistakes we did, to save them from the pain and heartache that we had to endure.

But if we are honest, truly honest; it was the hard lessons, the blundered decisions, the poor choices, the pain and heartache that taught us the most in life.

It is like a butterfly emerging from the cocoon – the struggle is real, for without the struggle the butterfly will die before it gets released. The butterfly’s wings and body are very soft in the cocoon, they have not hardened yet.

When the butterfly comes out of the cocoon, the only way he can strengthen it's wings is by beating them against the cocoon. It beats against the cocoon so it's muscles will grow strong. When you helped it, you prevented it from developing the muscles it would need to survive." Jan 26, 2013

Parenting… definitely not for the faint of heart. We want to “help”, not harden, but if helping produces weak butterflies who die or adults who are not prepared for life….. Sometimes we produce a cone in a cup. Not the outcome we were expecting, and sometimes it appears altogether upside down! Definitely not the result we were expecting.

Parenting is the #1 hardest thing you will ever do, hands down. It will take courage, bravery, quick on your feet thinking, energy, unlimited patience and produce guaranteed heartache.

But… it will be the thing that is most worth it in the world. It will also produce unlimited joy, unequivocal love, and pride like you have never known. You have the power in a wee bairn (Scottish for children) to help steer the next generation, to install value, kindness, love and propel it into the future. No finer challenge ever existed.

When I think of God, I think He too needs much courage, bravery, quick on His feet thinking, energy and unlimited patience to deal with us. It must produce a googolplex amount of heartache to deal with us trying to forage out own existence down here, trying to do it all on our own and our way.

The coolest thing I have experienced with God is that He can take our upside down results and still create a beautiful end product if we will let Him, then again He might just hand you a spoon, but in either case there is no wasted result.

Sometimes we need reminding of this.

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Love you 😍



Hi hun love this after helping my youngest move out I needed these reminders

Thank you

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