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  • Jane Wheeler

A Can of Paint


I wrote a couple of weeks ago about the shifting sand. Standing on the edge of the huge ocean the waves lapping the shoreline gently. You step in and wham! You end up on your butt. The current is powerful in some shallows even as in the deep.

I found out firsthand a couple of weeks ago about thinking you are standing firm and then….

I joined a gym. I should have done it a long time ago but you know, I procrastinated.

This gym has a red light therapy machine called the Body Enhancing Machine – now I have done red light therapy before, it is quite lovely, I liken it to laying in the hot warm sand and feeling the soothing warm rays of the sun caressing your body.

The gym staff asked me if I have ever used a body enhancing machine before and I told her that I had used a red light therapy machine before, not their machine but in another place.

Now here is the thing, I told her not their red light machine and I, in my naivety thought all red light machines were the same. She must have assumed so as well. So she showed me how to turn theirs on and left me to it.

When you use any kind of “sun” machine, you are supposed to wear little goggles as UV protection for your eyes. They had run out of the goggles but had “disposable” ones. These actually are bronze little oval stickers that you place over your eyes for a one time use.

So I am standing, declothed in this machine and push the buttons to turn it on, whip on my sticky little eye protector stickers with the one hand, with the other hand I am holding the plastic handle located at the top above my head. Good thing!

What was left out of the explanation, probably because I had said I had used a red light machine before was the fact it was a vibrational red light machine. The one I had used before was definitely NOT.

So what is the difference????

All of the sudden the floor began to shake! My firm ground was not so firm and the ground under my feet was not still! I began to shake and the whole place shook for the entire 12 minutes.

If I had not been holding on to the handle, it would have been one spill out the door, barely clothed, blind because I had stupid little sticky patches on my eyes, and probably there would have been a whole lot of screaming!

After about 5-6 minutes I kind of got used to the shaking and put my arm down to feel my thigh. Good thing I was not chewing gum because I probably would have gagged on it from shock. My thigh was shaking like it wanted to turn the blood in my extremities into butter – kind of like a can of paint in one of those little shaker things.

I am so glad no one can see a body shake like that, it would not be pretty no matter what your body shape was like. No one should ever have to see that!

Literally when that machine stopped and I walked down onto the floor of the change room, my legs were wobbly and I truly did feel like I had been placed into a paint shaker.

It was a lot like life, you think you are standing firm and then... the ground begins to shake!


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