My Funeral

June 6, 2018

 

This may seem a bit morbid, but have you ever thought about your funeral? Who will attend, what will it be like? Well I was given a prelude of what my funeral could possibly be like.

 

I have been waiting to share this story with you. For some of you, if this had happened to you, it would have been devastating.  Apparently, my “friend’s” knew I would not kill them or hold it against them so I was a safe “target”.

 

The occasion was my 50th birthday and my Bible study ladies decided to surprise me with a 50th birthday party.

 

Now this was not just any old party, it was a birthday funeral. They had decided that since I was now OLD, that it was time to bury my youth. I was unaware.

 

I set out to the party with much excitement that there was to be a celebration of my birthday, and to spend it with some great friends, I had no idea of what awaited me.

 

When I arrived, I was instructed to put on the clothing in the bag they handed me, no questions were to be asked. The clothing as I pulled it out of the bag, struck me as being “old lady” type clothing, definitely thrift store finds.

 

The rest of the ladies had also put on, somber, older style clothing and I got to wondering just what kind of party this was going to be. I was directed outside and taken to the back of the house where we proceeded to walk down a wooden ramp and into a hole in the ground that was at least 6’ deep.

 

There at the bottom of the hole was a black wrapped object of some kind lying on the ground.

 

At this point I was thinking that this party was now beginning to be a little odd, it was obviously not going to be a “tea party”.

 

 

 

There seemed to be some excitement starting up in the other ladies, as they proceeded to start “wailing, sniveling and crying” much like at a real funeral, or the wailing wall, but over what?  I was still in the dark.

 

Until the orchestrater of trouble began her order of service for the occasion:

“We are gathered here today to mourn the loss of Jane’s youth…..” and the wailing escalated to a new and frenzied height.

 

Oh my goodness, it was great, I never saw it coming and they all played their parts wonderfully. If I giggled I was given the “look” and shut down immediately. After the service over the loss of my youth, I was presented with items I would need for the future, a diaper, cane, prune juice, some special glasses and a jack in the box, with which I was to remember my youth by.

 

It truly was one of the best birthday’s ever and I shall never forget it and I have had the pleasure of getting at least one of those ladies back.  So remember if you decide to surprise your friends in this kind of way, they will spend a great deal of time, plotting your birthday surprise – just be warned.

 

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  Jane Wheeler 

 Writer, Author, Blogger, Builder,

 Teacher, Speaker, Copywriter