It all started with a drive………………….
I was on my way to Edmonton and I was finally alone. You know the alone where you can breathe. No one was asking something from me or nattering at me. All there is, is me , the car, the open road and the wonderful silence.
God and I do our best “talking” on the open road. I had been in a place of constant busy and constant people for over four months. Today I told Him – ‘okay I will be quiet and you can talk. What do you want to tell me…..’
I waited and waited through the silence and then He started………
You see prayer is really just a form of conversation – there are two parties and both get a chance to speak and both get a chance to listen. Unfortunately in my relationship with God lately there had pretty much been a one sided conversation – mainly me, whining, questions up the ying yang and spouting off.
Perhaps if we were really honest, we do not really want to hear from God. The answers are not the ones we like anyways, I mean if we really are honest – wouldn’t you agree????
Today was different – I wanted to hear and I was prepared to wait – quietly and He spoke...
God: You have been given a gift of feeling my heart.
Me: laughing, sarcastic – it’s not always a blessing.
God: not laughing, serious – Yes it is. It is always a blessing. You are a conduit of my heart. You have closed your heart. You cannot feel my love for you when you close up your heart.
God: Do you know I love you?
Me: spouting off the correct answer: Yes I know you love me, you sent your Son and He died for me on the cross.
God: Do you “know” I love you? How can you feel my love when you cannot feel my heart.
Me: now sobbing – I know it's true. God, I allow you to soften and open up my heart so that I might feel again, even if it is scary and allows others to hurt me.
God: You don’t approve of my methods.
Me: No I do not.
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