Lovin' On Me
I am not sure if you remember my blog from ages ago about the Life Wheel.
It is a wheel or a circle that represents our life. The wheel is made
up of parts like: self, family, job, religion, finances, friends, school, and
all parts belong into the wheel to make it into one complete unit. If you take
a piece out or it is missing, the wheel becomes flat and does not spin
properly. Square wheels do not turn nicely.
Jigsaw puzzles are an interesting thing, they look like a jumbled mess when you pour them out of the box. You painstakingly take the time to match and put each piece together until they form an intricate picture. There is nothing more frustrating than completing a jigsaw puzzle only to find that there is one piece missing. The picture is not complete and if you do not know where that piece is, the picture will never be complete.
Our life is much like a jigsaw puzzle, it is made up of many jumbled pieces that at first glance look like a bit of a mess, it looks like the pieces do not relate or attach together. Upon closer inspection, usually much later in life, you will find that all the pieces are intimately connected and all belong in our life wheel/circle.
If we carefully analyze each of the parts inside of the life wheel, each segment,
we find that within each piece there are other areas that have to be balanced
carefully as well.
For instance, our health is not simply a matter of eating well or even how much exercise you do. There are many more components involved: stress, finances, nutrition, exercise, employment, relationships, hereditary DNA, culture, and even our spiritual health are all involved. When one of these pieces is missing or not in proper shape, our body (physical, mentally, spiritually) is not complete and it creates an imbalance in our body.
It creates "dis-ease", not being in balance, out of sorts. We feel "dis-ease" in anything
that would interfere with our regular flow; it creates havoc in our body in some form
I have seen an interesting thing, even if we chose not to voice, speak up or look
at whatever is causing our "dis-ease", our discomfort, it does not simply disappear, rather it emerges in another state later on. However in the process we are trying to ride on a flat wheel.
Our bodies were designed with a warning system much like lights on a
dashboard of a car. When the red "check engine " light comes on, you had better
stop and check the car engine or the engine will most likely stop on you.
Many of us and I would like to say most of us, truly believe me when I include me
in this, we take the road of hard knocks on this one and keep on going without checking
We think we can do it later and come up with statements like:
"No time" "Not convenient" "Costs money" (ie:to go to counselling, eat
healthier food) Needless to say if we do not invest in ourselves, if we will not take care
of "me", you are not complete, there are some pieces missing in your circle.
What do I mean? Here are some examples:
I can try to say my horrible eating will not affect my health but in reality, my
health will ultimately tell on me when I suffer the consequences of not eating
well. Whether it be diabetes, weight gain, or other health issues, our
body will only let us go so far before a red light comes on in our body flashing a bright warning light.
Or I can try to say my anger will not affect me and choose to ignore it,
but when my family or friends decides to avoid me, it has affected my whole life.
Anger can often manifest itself in the form of "control". People who are fearful
try so hard to control the others around them. Without getting help for my anger I may
plunge into depression as I see my expectations of controlling others
not working. My wheel is flat.
I have seen way too many people harbour unforgiveness and become hard
and cold in life as they allow resentment and bitterness to fester inside for
years. I have seen people who give and give unselfishly not be able
to give to themselves and when the pool of giving drys up they are left dry and parched.
They never took the time to refresh and replenish themselves. Water is
only great for drinking and refreshing when it is running, a stagnant pool breeds bacteria.
I spend my money foolishly only on my "wants" or "must haves" thinking
that I am worth it and this is a good way to "love me" and I run out of money
way before the end of the month, I have to look at my spending and make some corrections. We have created a generation of "I want it now" and have not taught
ourselves and our children the art of wait and save.
To give ourselves and others everything they want, is not loving, it is foolish. Credit is so readily available that almost everything we think we want we can get "today".
This is having disastrous effects on our economy and our finances and quite
frankly our marriages - money conflict is one of the most common fights in a marriage.
As these areas or others get out of control, our life wheel deflates and the wheel cannot
turn smoothly, much like a jigsaw puzzle with some of the pieces missing it is never complete.
So what can we do?
I am famous for pushing through, not taking the time to find out why my circle is square.
I have had to slow down, relax and refuel more often as I get older. In taking the "busy"
out, I get left with a peaceful place to reflect and get in touch with me again. Me has
always been here, but I haven't paid much attention to her, or been kind to her, she often gets left behind. I have found I do not bounce back like I used to
and you know that is a frustrating thing, but not a bad thing. It can provide
me with the time - key word - "time" to stop, think and refocus on what I need
to do for me. It could be as simple as going for a walk, sitting in a park, talking to a friend, going for a drive. This is a new process for me, I have always run like a whirlwind and I have found that when the wind is out of the sails, and the sails deflate, that it is
totally okay to just be me. It has been interesting that as the sails deflate, my circle is
actually more round.
Jesus told us:
"Love the Lord Your God with all your heart, with all your soul and
with all your mind. This the first and greatest commandment. And the
second is like it, "Love your neighbour as yourself." Matthew 22:37-39
These are the "great commandments" not suggestions, not good ideas,
these are commandments and it is my strong feeling that we neglect the
latter commandment - "love yourself." Today or in the next
couple days, take some time to reflect just what would "loving me" look like.
You just might be surprised at what it is and is not.